Ridiculous

It's funny how the world works. Except that most of the time, it's not funny at all. I got laid the other night. Cool. He's on my facebook; has been for a long time. No big deal, right? Sure. So the other night, he mentions that he looked at some of my pictures, and I realized I hadn't looked at any of his. So I felt obligated, now that we've gone past facebook intimacy. There's nothing all that interesting in the pictures, but then today I'm glancing at some of his other friends. We have a couple in common, and I skim down to who else is in the little box underneath that. And lo and behold, I see a name I recognize. Not a San Diego name, but a name that recalls times from long ago. Serious long ago. High school. Someone I knew when I was 15 and living in Small Town, Middle America, and now she's living in San Diego and is Facebook friends with some guy I just slept with. And the first thing that leaps into my brain is this: did he sleep with her too? Yes, this could be a problem.

So anyway, I decide to follow this ghost from the past to see what she's up to. Here's her background. When I was 14, I was into horses, and so was she. I had scruffy horses and second hand gear, and she had Arabian show horses. I was the geeky girl with braces, and she had long, curly hair and was incredibly beautiful and tall and athletic and popular. In short: she was everything that I wasn't. So naturally, I'm curious as to what she's doing now. Gotten married? Popped out a bunch of kids? Still into horses? Well, based on the fact that she lives here and knows this guy, I would say no to all of them.

So here it is: I don't know if she's married or has kids, but I do know this. She FOUNDED her own real estate investment company and specializes in commercial and multi-family buildings. Translation: tons o' money. Plus, she's still beautiful. WTF? I have always held this naive belief that all those people that were awesome in high school would get fat and settle soon after the glory days of letter jackets and class rings were over. Not in this case. Not that I don't like her; she was always nice to me and seemed like a decent person. I just always thought the dorks would inherit all that is fun and awesome in adulthood. I doubt she has ever felt awkward or unpopular in her entire life. So sue me if I feel a little indignant that I actually KNOW someone who has led a charmed life for all the years that they have been alive. That there has never een a time where she has felt ugly, stupid, unwelcome, or unwanted. To be honest, I would be extremely surprised if she wasn't happily married with some awesome kids in a big beautiful house on the beach. She's just one of those people whose touch always turns things into gold. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit jealous.

So then this is the other prong of the issue. I just sexed someone that knows her, and I have no idea what kind of relationship they have. Facebook is sooooo vague. Dammit. Would she even remember me? I'm not so sure. Popular girls never remember anyone. Blagh. I think my life has some sort of clause written into it that says that nothing in my life can ever be even a little bit normal. There always has to be some weirdness that will complicate everything to a degree that no one would ever believe it unless they were there to witness it. Are you serious? The guy I just fucked KNOWS some girl from my hometown of 10,000 people, which is 2000 miles from here??? If you had written it, I would never have believed it.

This is ridiculous. My life is ridiculous.