Cool/Not Cool

I just lost my health benefits. Isn't that cool? I didn't think so either. My tax bill isn't looking so great either. I thought us po folks were supposed to get a break. Maybe not. So the film festival starts next week. It seems to be taking up more and more of my time, but that's kind of how it works. I think it's going to be good. Supposedly I'll be meeting with someone from Nickelodeon about my script. Take that, haters. I'll find out what they have to say about it. So the boy took his 'vacation' to go see his utterly clueless "girlfriend" last weekend. I didn't ask when he was planning to come back, but I did tell him to call me. I haven't heard from him since then. Ironically enough, his departure coincides with Lent, so I'm putting him on my Lent list. After forty days without him, I'm sure I won't even be bothered thinking about him anymore. I tend to get over things a lot more quickly than I used to, and he is no exception. Easy come easy go, right? Still, I am hounded by the idea that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, which is probably my biggest fear. It seems so stupid, but I think it's the only thing I've never had, so it's the only thing I really want. Sometimes I think I must need therapy, but they aren't going to be able to convince me that being alone is the natural state of things. I know there's nothing wrong with me, so therapy seems kind of stupid. I think I just need someone stable to stick by me for longer than a week. I realized yesterday that the boy is the first boy to actually sleep in my bed for a night since the last time he slept in my bed, which was easily two years ago. That's pathetic. I sometimes forget how little play I get, especially considering how hot and awesome I am. Ah well. I suppose all this is kind of a moot point. In a year, I'll be too important to mess with idiots like him. I'll be going on dates with Clive Owen. Seriously.