Leprosy

I woke up this morning and I really missed Kid A. Sometimes it hits me hard and out of nowhere, usually when I'm really stressed out. And I've been stressed out all week. I wish there was something I could do to fix things or at least figure out where they went wrong, but right now I can't. I have so many other things I have to do first. I am overwhelmed by my life and if often seems like there's no one to pick up anything I drop, so there's a lot of pressure to do everything. And if things aren't fixed or taken care of in the next seven days, there are definitely some things that are going to be dropped. Important things. Right now I'm just trying to keep my head above water. And it would really be nice if Kid A were around to help me feel like a normal person again. But I just feel like a leper.

Boy B hasn't dropped me yet, but I can feel that it will only be a matter of time. I'm simply too crazy to be affiliated with people who are well adjusted and normal. And there's only so much craziness he can take. I've tried to tone it down as much as I can, but that's like trying to hide an elephant. I'll be sad when he eventually gets tired of me. And I'll feel even more like a leper.

I don't want to make this movie anymore. I'm afraid I got in way over my head, and it seems like every day there's something new to pay for that I hadn't expected. My original budget was grossly underestimated, and now it looks like the credit cards are going to be completely maxed out if I don't figure something out really quickly. And that really really really sucks.

I'm exhausted from working all the time; I haven't had any down time all week, and it doesn't look like there will be any in the near future, either. My throat is sore this morning, and I hope I'm not getting sick. That's about the last thing I need right now.

So to sum up, I'm really sad, overwhelmed, overworked, and worried. Great.