Dwelling

Yesterday things were great. And I guess they still are. The shine is just wearing off. Or maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe I just keep dwelling on unrelated items. Whatever it is, I'm starting to feel a bit down. I think I need to eat something. Interview #1 was today, and I guess it went great, but I'm not going to get that job. Actually it's a bit of a relief. Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself. Interview #2 is tomorrow, and now I don't have to go in with some crazy explanation about anything, because there is nothing to explain. I just have to be me. Which is kind of scary when you think about it, but it's all I know how to do.

I've been thinking a lot about the guy, and I keep going back and forth over whether or not I should even talk to him anymore, or what I need to demand from him in order to keep my friendship. How much can you viably ask of someone who admittedly doesn't care about anything? Even if that apathy is temporary? And if you can't ask for anything, why bother giving anything? I'm guessing I'm going to have a few days to mull it over, since his week of depression (or month, rather) is quickly marching to its deepest point. He told me the other day he thinks he's dyslexic. I was surprised. And it made me wonder what else I don't know about him that will surprise me. And while that surprise doesn't change my decent opinion of him, how many secrets does he have that would change my opinion of him? Do I really know him at all? Are we really that close? Or do I know him so well, and am so close, that he makes bad choices that push me away because he is afraid?

Anyway, I'm finally going to go see the movie I've been talking about. It got a good review here, and not many movies do. But I have to get ready to go.