Last Day

Today was the last day of summer. Educationally speaking, that is. Tomorrow I go back into that rough and tumble world of trying to make something of myself when deep down I know I just want to go to the beach and be comfortable. It has been an interesting summer; like no other I've had to date. It's been full of vacations and visitors, unemployment, surprises good and not-so-good, and a myriad of other things I don't understand and prefer not to think about.

Recently I've taken to not saying things out loud, and seeing how that goes. I suppose it's going ok so far, but it doesn't help with stress reduction at all. It helps keep things tidier, though. I suppose with school starting, it will give me a chance to concentrate on something that is supposed to be fun. Let me get back into the swing of doing things on a daily basis. Thinking and such. I have apprehension about this coming semester, mostly because I'm not off to a great start yet. I wish the university would get their shit together and organize so I don't have to have a sherpa to navigate the class schedule and faculty changes. I wish the university would keep me better informed on what's going on.

They are like a secret society, operating this huge organization and changing things so quietly that no one notices until it's too late. I want this to be a good semester. I want to shake these feelings of inadequacy and unpopularity I've been feeling all summer. I want to feel like I belong somewhere, and that I'm not chasing some stupid pipe dream. I want things to work out. All things.