Unequal

Today it hit me how old I am. Or at least how far behind I am. I try not to think too much about my parents' opinion of me, mostly because they don't really know who I am anyway. But I'm sure it must be difficult for them sometimes, to have a daughter like me. It must be pretty disappointing. I'm sure they thought that by now I would be an adult doing adult things, but I'm not even close. They're probably wondering if I'm a lesbian since I'm not married yet. And there are no more grandchildren for them to spoil. Only the perfect sister has provided that.

It must be terribly embarrassing for them to admit to their bridge club friends that yes, they do have another daughter, but she lives far away in the land of California. No, she's still in school, yes, she's going on thirty, of course, she's no spring chicken anymore and no, she's not married. She doesn't even have a boyfriend. We don't know what she's doing. We would think she would want those things too. But she's what we like to call 'a professional student'. No, we don't know what she's studying. We don't think she's given any thought to a career or a 401k or benefits. We just don't know where we went wrong with her. The others turned out so normal. Well, except for the youngest, but I'm blaming his father for that. We just don't understand her. That's why we don't talk about her much. What a disappointment she turned out to be.

I'm sure the one thing my mother wants before she dies is to see me married and pregnant. And that's really about the least likely thing that's going to happen at this point. Not that I don't want that, but the hitch is that it takes more than one person for that to happen, and I'm a surefire male repellent. I have years and years and years of flawless performance in that area. If it were a sport, I'd be a world champion. Male Repelling: unequaled.