This is Me

I like books. They are nice. I hate the price of books. They are not nice. Plus they don't make any sense. I just dropped over $200 on 5 books. Ridiculous. Hopefully they will be the best books ever. Because I've been swindled by plenty that aren't.

Sunday. Day of rest. Or day of all the rest. It seems like I should be looking forward to it, but for some reason I'm not. It's just stretching out in front of me like a desert, with nothing to promise. Sure, there's lots of stuff I can do, but right now I'm just not into it. I haven't had time to mope very much lately, and it's really getting to me. This busy stuff kinda sucks.

I'm tired of appointments.
I'm tired of phone calls.
I'm tired of grading papers.
I'm tired of checking e-mail.
I'm tired of reading up.
I'm tired of planning.
I'm tired of tech support.
I'm tired of schedules.
I'm tired of errands.
I'm tired of socializing.
I'm tired of getting culture.
I'm tired of checking in.
I'm tired of helping out.
I'm tired of being concerned.
I'm tired of self-help.
I'm tired of eating healthy.

And it's only been one week. Actually only 6 days. Not the start I had hoped for. I never realized how important moping had become. Now it's almost multitask moping. Mope during lunch. During the commute. In the elevator. During the walk to class.

I don't think I'm ever going to get out. I've realized that recently. I think at some level I always thought I would feel better eventually, but it has become apparent that there is a one in a billion chance of that actually happening. And I'm not that lucky. I have a better chance at winning the lottery. And I don't buy tickets. So this is it. This is me.