Thoughts
I think I'm going crazy. I just put the smack down on some bitch on Facebook who tried to correct me about Hemingway's hangouts in Paris. Seriously? How pointless is that? Still, I don't appreciate someone I don't know trying to make me look stupid, especially when I'm not wrong. I even looked it up to be sure. What a bitch. Seriously, I hope she gets a hair in her soup next time she goes out to a restaurant with her smug bullshit self. Anyway, just a little rant to get things started.
But anyway, yes, I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm frustrated at work, broke, and I have little to nothing to do with myself. Meaning I have no direction unless someone gives me one. How pathetic is that? And now that I don't have homework, I don't know what to do when I get home. What does everyone else do? I read a little bit, watch movies, started making a book, cook food, etc. Is this what regular people do? I have no idea. I always seem to have things to keep me busy and I don't have to think about it. I don't make a habit of cleaning the house. Maybe that will happen temporarily. It seems strange to think about it. Me, a housekeeper. It sounds so absurd.
Anyway, aside from that, I still feel crazy. The boy is driving me nuts. He pays just enough attention to me to keep me thinking he's interested, but not enough for me to think he's jumping in with both feet. So every day I debate whether or not I'm going to call him or text him or do nothing at all, and I never get to a good answer. I just end up doing or not doing something at that particular moment. A friend said he must really like me if he went to the museum with me. Could it be that simple? Does he actually like me? Perhaps he likes me and is afraid to get too involved. Maybe he's busy. Maybe he's stringing me along like all the others. I can't tell. For someone who is so open, he really is a mystery. Which makes it twice as frustrating. And I'm trying really hard to be careful not to scare him off by being too insistent or whatever.
How does one avoid that pitfall? I mean avoid it without making him think I'm not interested. Grrr. I like this boy. A lot. It seems like every time I see him, I get a little goofier, a little less cautious, and he just stays the same. Or at least that's how it looks to me. Anyway, I'm not sure what I should be doing. Your thoughts?
But anyway, yes, I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm frustrated at work, broke, and I have little to nothing to do with myself. Meaning I have no direction unless someone gives me one. How pathetic is that? And now that I don't have homework, I don't know what to do when I get home. What does everyone else do? I read a little bit, watch movies, started making a book, cook food, etc. Is this what regular people do? I have no idea. I always seem to have things to keep me busy and I don't have to think about it. I don't make a habit of cleaning the house. Maybe that will happen temporarily. It seems strange to think about it. Me, a housekeeper. It sounds so absurd.
Anyway, aside from that, I still feel crazy. The boy is driving me nuts. He pays just enough attention to me to keep me thinking he's interested, but not enough for me to think he's jumping in with both feet. So every day I debate whether or not I'm going to call him or text him or do nothing at all, and I never get to a good answer. I just end up doing or not doing something at that particular moment. A friend said he must really like me if he went to the museum with me. Could it be that simple? Does he actually like me? Perhaps he likes me and is afraid to get too involved. Maybe he's busy. Maybe he's stringing me along like all the others. I can't tell. For someone who is so open, he really is a mystery. Which makes it twice as frustrating. And I'm trying really hard to be careful not to scare him off by being too insistent or whatever.
How does one avoid that pitfall? I mean avoid it without making him think I'm not interested. Grrr. I like this boy. A lot. It seems like every time I see him, I get a little goofier, a little less cautious, and he just stays the same. Or at least that's how it looks to me. Anyway, I'm not sure what I should be doing. Your thoughts?
posted by Ocean | 11:33 PM
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