Hermit Cave

I had a lunch date today. He was a nice guy who was smart and good looking and he has a limp. I think I may be a shallow person. I've been depressed about it all day. I think I'm just messed up completely because nothing bad has happened to me and I feel like I've been on the verge of tears since then. I don't really know why or how to get out of it, and I have to teach my class in about 45 minutes. I feel like that's the only thing that can distract me from how completely miserable I feel. It's one of those feelings that makes it seem difficult to do anything; like a to do list with more than two things on it is a mountain of obstacles that I'll never get through. I suppose it doesn't help that I don't have any friends here to help me out because they are moving away or in boyfriendland. I've tried to think of someone (anyone!) I can call and talk to and no one is possible. The only person I really want to call is the only person I really don't (and shouldn't) want to talk to. I keep telling myself it would only make things worse and he wouldn't understand anyway. He never did. I guess no one did. No one does. Probably never will.

So this guy, he and I clicked. We were talking about college basketball and football (he's from Tennessee, went to Georgia Tech when they had a pretty good Bball team) and things were going fine and then suddenly something happened. I don't know what because it was just subtle, but maybe I froze up or something. It felt forced after that. I don't know why. It just did.

I think I'm over. Fired. Kaput.

Hermit cave, here I come. Wait, I think I'm already there.