SaSSy

So the museum last night was pretty cool. It's my first time at this one, and it's small, but they have some good stuff. The flowers were interesting. So was the people watching. The drunk woman gynecologist that said things were great because "I just got a face lift and new boobs", the man wearing a cape, an earring, hair obviously dyed black, and full on make-up, the first date couple with the man in the really bad shirt. Ahh, the public.

I, of course, sported a SaSSy (yes, 3 capital S's) black dress. The kind of dress that is not meant to leave me alone at the end of the night. But of course, it did. Trust me though, I looked hot. I caught a dude totally checking me out, and not in a subtle way, either. His woman was standing in front of him, and he didn't even care. He didn't even notice me watching him check me out. What a doofus. I was informed there were lots of people checking me out last night, but I didn't notice all of them. Really just the one and some women who were obviously jealous that they were wearing blazers and slacks with work shoes.

But as I said, the dress failed in its mission. I was alone after everything was said and done, and there was nothing I could do about it. So I came home and got into bed and fell asleep for about four hours, then woke up at three in the morning and laid there for over two hours wondering where the fuck I went wrong. And what I'm supposed to do now. And how to stop all the old feelings from coming back because they are always ready to make me miserable and I'm really bad at stopping them. So far, the only thing that's stopping me is knowing that I looked absolutely awesome last night, and resistance had been built up from the very beginning, before I even appeared. My prospect for company had made up his mind way before he even saw me, and took steps to make sure he didn't slip, which he almost did anyway. But it still sucks, because being rejected is always humiliating, especially when you are obviously making an effort to not be rejected. Stupid dress. Now I just want to stay home and never go out again.

But the flowers were nice.