Stop Blogging

I had to stop blogging because I feel like I need protection. And having my deepest darkest thoughts floating around in cyberspace is not protection. Quite the opposite.

There is something fun and silly about the whole process; that people I know and don't know can read it. Or not, as in my case. But the downside is that it seems like it has become a substitute for me. Why talk to me when you can figure everything out through the virtual me? It's like I've made myself obsolete. Phone calls are so complicated when compared to just booting up. And the screen doesn't talk back. You can close it up when you want and not only do I not protest, I don't even know. What could be better?

So the question is, is knowing me even necessary? How important can my presence be when my blog already speaks for me? And we both know that the "idea" of me is waaaayyy better than the actual me, who talks too much, has actual emotions that you have to deal with, and dresses funny. Not to mention being completely incapable of intelligent conversation because I haven't read ANY of the right books.

So this is it. No more virtual me. At least not for a while. Because believe it or not, I want to feel like my presence actually does make a difference and I'm not just some dumb chick following you around all the time like a really fucking annoying puppy. I want there to be time taken out for me and just me. I want to come before something. But most of all, I don't like that you know about my life without having to ask. That's just cheap. And lazy.