44.5 Days

He says I always exaggerate the sorry sad history of my love life; that it hasn't been as bad as I say it has. But here it is, in statistical evidence. I averaged out the length of every relationship I have had in my nearly 30 years. For the guys that I hooked up with and thought was going to stay with and then he never called back, I gave a generous 7 days. Others, that slept with me and then said that we couldn't be together got 0. The ones that actually lasted for more than 14 days, I rounded off to weeks, so the actual count of days might me off by a little. But this, at least, gives a good idea of how dismal my dating history is.

The average length of my relationships is 44.5 days.

Just over 6 weeks. I think I may have stated before that the time it takes for a guy to find out that this is me and I'm not going to magically change into a princess, no matter how many times you kiss the frog, is right around 6 weeks. And this is the proof.

44.5 days. Not even 2 cycles of the moon. Just over 10% of a year. 801 days if you string them from end to end. Not even 3 years. That's less than 10% of my entire life.

Not what I would call even somewhat successful.

If I had a car that worked ten percent of the time, I would scrap it.
If I had a pet that was only healthy ten percent of the time, I would shoot it.
If I lived somewhere that was sunny ten percent of the time, I would shoot myself.

Forty-four and one half days.