Weekend Sanity

So it's been a bit of a strange weekend, even though it's really like most others. I have a sunburn on my head, where my hair separates and shows skin. No chance for sunscreen preventativeness. I spent more money than I should have while hanging out with my gay friends, who it seems, have all dated each other at some point or another. The trouble with them that I've found, is that getting a group of them together and keeping them together is a lot like herding cats. They have a hard time focusing when there are lots of things going on around them.

The lunch boy who stood me up on Thursday happened to text me on Saturday, saying he was hungover. Am I supposed to give a fuck? All I know is that he ditched me when he should have been there, and the casualness that I have allowed thus far is pretty much over. I don't want to feel like a second choice, and while I haven't had the chance to mention these ideas to him, I have been thinking them for the last few days.

The old boy initiated a chat via FB the other day, while he was in a foreign county, visiting his idiot GF. If he's having so much fun on vacation, why the hell is he talking to me? Anyway, I thought it was odd and somewhat uncalled for, mostly because I've been thinking about him since then and I really don't want to. I don't want to think about any of them. I want to think about new people and new experiences, and I want to do what ever I can to make those things happen. Because clearly the old people aren't giving me anything worth remembering.

So a week from Tuesday I'll be going to NYC, which should be an interesting voyage. My second business trip (technically third, but a weekend doesn't count), and a whole lot of change at work requires me to make sure that things happen. I have to say, there is something wonderful about being away from this town and away from these people. Being in new places with new people can only be good. Plus it gets me out of the rut of what happens here every day.

Here's the thing: I know what I want. I know who I want. I even give myself options. A plan A and Plan B. And C and D and E. and I try to put them in motion and they just don't seem to work like the other things that I plan in my life. They go haywire and I can't control or predict them. So I end up being at a loss as to what my next plan of action should be. With most other things, I can regroup and replan, but for these kind of things, predictability gets thrown out the window. As does sanity. And these days, the only way I've been hanging onto mine, is to pretend that things don't exist. Which means the sane part has already been lost. Awesome.