Depending

France is amazing. So far, I haven't had anything terrible happen, and seeing as how I don't speak the language, that's saying something. I don't even miss home. Suddenly I have freedom to actually enjoy myself without worrying about what is around the next corner. What hurtful things someone is going to say next. I got an e-mail from him today. He was complaining mildly about my absence. I wanted to reply that I knew he'd be sorry when I left, and he'll be even sorrier when I'm gone for good, but I couldn't do it. Somehow hurting back isn't very rewarding.

I know I have to go back sometime, and right now I really don't want to. But I know things will be different when I do go back. I'm just not sure how. I guess I'm being reminded of how independent I really am right now. I don't depend on anyone. I don't need anyone. I just want someone to share things with and care for who will care about me. Is that really so hard?