Shifting

I'm going to la playa again today. I probably shouldn't, but it's the only place where I don't get stressed out. Today I'll even remember to use the sunblock since the backs of my legs are already a medium rare shade of pink. I'm still somewhat put out that I've been 86'd from the beach I actually like, the one that I went to when I first came here and knew no one. It's really the only beach I've ever gone to, but apparently, beaches ARE private property.

The funniest thing is, a couple hundred feet down is okay. And the stupidest thing is, I don't like it as much there. Granted, it's still beautiful and serene and all that stuff. But things aren't where they are supposed to be. The palm trees are different. The buildings have a different placement that throws off my orientation. I don't even know what's even further down. I've never walked that way.

So I lay and look wistfully to the trees and rocks and sea wall and buildings that used to be exactly where they are supposed to be. Now they have shifted, just like my idea of who I am and what I am supposed to be. And it is an abrupt shift that I never anticipated. I guess things change in two ways: without you knowing it, or so fast you never see it coming. I never saw this coming. But I guess the end is never really visible.