Vicarious Living
Sometimes, I forget what a pathetic life I lead. But I'm always snapped back to reality somehow. In this case, it's online shopping that makes me pathetic. I know that doesn't sound that bad, but it is when I'm not even shopping for myself.
No, I'm not looking for gifts. No one wants to exchange gifts with me this year. Which of course hurts me deeply, because I like giving gifts to people I care about, but other people just see it as a hassle because I'm really not that important. But that's another story.
So I'm shopping for a dress for my roommate, because she needs one for a Christmas party. So I'm randomly and pathetically searching through pages and pages of stuff that someone else needs because they have a life and I don't. I'm vicariously shopping online. I tried to think of something that I could shop for for myself, but I couldn't come up with anything. Too bad no one is auctioning lives on e-Bay. I could really use one.
And now, it really hits home even harder because I'm sitting at home alone on Thanksgiving and I'm starving and I'm sober. And my family hasn't even bothered to call and say hello or how are you or even Happy Turkey day. Who knew long distance charges were such a deterrent for keeping in touch. How ridiculuous. I keep thinking about my roommates, who are with their families having a good ol' time, and they'll come home and go right to sleep from the oodles of tryptophan they've ingested and I'll still be starving, but probably not sober. Is it sad to drink champagne by yourself? All I can hope for from today is that one of them will bring some food back for me.
But basically, right now I am dead space. Space eating up heat and energy and making USA network think I actually care what movie they are showing on a holiday where no one else is watching. I could be vaporized right now and not only would no one notice, but no one would care either. How nice. Most people are lucky enough to be with families they can't stand on the holidays, but I get to be completely and utterly ignored by mine.
So anyone who thinks they have a family that sucks, just remember mine.
At least yours talks to you.
No, I'm not looking for gifts. No one wants to exchange gifts with me this year. Which of course hurts me deeply, because I like giving gifts to people I care about, but other people just see it as a hassle because I'm really not that important. But that's another story.
So I'm shopping for a dress for my roommate, because she needs one for a Christmas party. So I'm randomly and pathetically searching through pages and pages of stuff that someone else needs because they have a life and I don't. I'm vicariously shopping online. I tried to think of something that I could shop for for myself, but I couldn't come up with anything. Too bad no one is auctioning lives on e-Bay. I could really use one.
And now, it really hits home even harder because I'm sitting at home alone on Thanksgiving and I'm starving and I'm sober. And my family hasn't even bothered to call and say hello or how are you or even Happy Turkey day. Who knew long distance charges were such a deterrent for keeping in touch. How ridiculuous. I keep thinking about my roommates, who are with their families having a good ol' time, and they'll come home and go right to sleep from the oodles of tryptophan they've ingested and I'll still be starving, but probably not sober. Is it sad to drink champagne by yourself? All I can hope for from today is that one of them will bring some food back for me.
But basically, right now I am dead space. Space eating up heat and energy and making USA network think I actually care what movie they are showing on a holiday where no one else is watching. I could be vaporized right now and not only would no one notice, but no one would care either. How nice. Most people are lucky enough to be with families they can't stand on the holidays, but I get to be completely and utterly ignored by mine.
So anyone who thinks they have a family that sucks, just remember mine.
At least yours talks to you.
posted by Ocean | 7:29 PM
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