Subconscious

I woke up this morning with the most terrible feeling. It came from a dream I'd been having that is very vivid in my mind, but also unexplainable. There were strange occurrences, people shifting identities, shifting locales. And there was also that strange thing that happens that you see the person very clearly in your dream, and you know who it is, but your mind is telling you all this is really about someone else that you know that isn't visible in your dream.

So I woke up with the feeling that I am not a nice person. That I am doing things to hurt lots of people. That people are often judging me on what they think they know rather than what is actually happening. That I'm making rash, irrational, and irreversible decisions. That I'm not being honest with myself. The people that I hurt are both people I'm close to and people I hardly know. That I'm constantly trying to cover things up that I'm not doing right.

It's strange. I feel like my subconscious is out to get me. Maybe because it knows I'm trying to take over. But then I have to wonder, how much of this is really true? Maybe I shouldn't have control. Because maybe all those bad things are really part of what kind of person I am. And I don't want to be that kind of person. Ever.